Alexa Doiron | Contributing writer
This past Sunday, local residents and Roanoke College students gathered in the Colket Center for an event called “A Night of Nakedness” The guest speaker was best-selling author Harlan Cohen, whose book The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run into in College became a guide for students facing all sorts of weird situations in college. Cohen’s catch phrase is “Get comfortable with the uncomfortable,” which is something he employs in his talks while he probes students about their personal lives. However, he doesn’t do so without easing into his relationship with the audience by telling a few personal and relatable stories from his own life.
Cohen discussed his adolescence briefly with the audience, mentioning the moment in high school when a girl told him that she “doesn’t date fat guys.” This occurrence was when Cohen realized that he needed to make a change. The story continued to tell the audience about his journey from a confident high school senior to a confused and lonely freshman at the University of Wisconsin. Cohen had a natural charm and humor that allowed listeners to remember exactly what they felt like as a college freshman. It was a humbling experience, even for students who are far past the period of the “freshman flop” or “sophomore slump.”
Some advice he gave to the audience was to tell your story of 2017 as if it already happened. For example, Cohen said “2017 was the best year yet. I kept up running every day, I started to be able to see my abs and I created a new project with my buddy that blew everyone out of the water.” This mind trick could help to actually create the imagined year instead of simply hoping for the best. For the students, it seemed a bit confusing, but Cohen appeared so confident in this method that some mentioned they would try it.
Rejection, in all forms, was also a heavily discussed subject of the talk. Cohen stated that becoming accepting of rejection is an important skill to learn. His philosophy is that rejection can turn to acceptance after the first attempt – something he discovered specifically after his wife rejected him during online dating, only to fall for him in a coffee shop a few weeks later. Students then offered up their own tales of rejection from relationships to jobs and discussed how they had come to terms with it. The overarching technique to rejection is to prepare for it, Cohen said. Take risks that have a possible high-yield outcome but be prepared for the worst. To bring the point home, the speaker said he starts his talks out by setting the bar low and then amazing people with his humor and advice. This is a technique that he says should be applied to most aspects of life.
Cohen’s purpose of the talk was to discuss awkward sexual experiences and how to navigate relationships in the college environment. During a talk with the college’s Residence Life and Housing staff earlier in the day, Cohen mentioned how often the issue of masturbating roommates occurs in the dorms. After mentioning this, the audience awkwardly giggled and Cohen ran with the energy, asking the head of Residence Life and Housing Director, Jimmy Whited, if it is a problem on the Roanoke College Campus. “I’m sure it is,” said Whited, “but we don’t know about it.”
The room laughed more at this and Cohen mentioned the differences between issues that appear at large universities as opposed to those at small institutions such as Roanoke College. This disparity in issues is an aspect of his talks that Cohen may not have been used to as he nudged students to put forward their personal information, forgetting that smaller institutions create a less forgiving environment in the private sphere.
Still, however, the five-foot-two speaker commanded the attention and love of the audience with his big, endearing personality. Cohen is a well-known speaker in the college realm and has spoken in 47 states to students of various backgrounds. The students of Roanoke College received him well and enjoyed hearing his college stories, such as his girlfriend breaking up with him because he was too clingy. It was the personal anecdotes that made the crowd relax with Cohen, and before the end of the night, the students definitely seemed to be comfortable discussing the uncomfortable.
