To Stephanie Manus, the measure of a good parent isn’t just about providing food on the table and a roof to live under. It’s also about loving each child unconditionally and creating memories that will last a lifetime. Manus, a Salem resident since 2015, has two children – Daymien, 12, and seven-year-old Gabe. Both boys have autism.

Her youngest child was diagnosed in 2014.

“When Gabe was developmentally delayed, his father and I suspected that it was a possibility. Then when he didn’t speak until he was three, we knew something was definitely different,” Stephanie said. “We reached out to Early Intervention and immediately pressed for help. They were accommodating and couldn’t have been more professional.”

While Stephanie goes above and beyond to show her boys that they are loved, she, unfortunately, knows that society won’t be as kind to them. The New Jersey native says for years her children have been subjected to various kinds of bullying.

“It takes a lot of time and patience for people to understand that they are perfectly capable of being successful on their own terms. I think that’s a huge key for kids with autism. People simply need to stop trying to make them fit into our world. Instead, we should try and learn how to fit into theirs,” she said.

Friends and family gathered at Bethel Baptist Church in Salem on Saturday, March 10, for Gabe’s seventh birthday. The celebration started at 1 p.m. and lasted for approximately three hours. Gabe ended up receiving over a dozen presents.

“One of the main goals of the gathering was to raise awareness and foster acceptance for Gabe and other kids in the community who experience bullying,” Stephanie said. “When Gabe was asked by a reporter what his favorite part of his party was, he responded by saying ‘all of my friends who came.’ Him saying that meant that we achieved our goal ten-fold. I got a feeling that he’ll remember the community standing up for him for the rest of his life.”

Many people have misconceptions about children with autism, a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication, according to Stephanie.

“Some see autism as either super savant or non-functional. Sadly, there’s a huge percentage of kids in the middle that look perfectly normal but struggle in one area, such as socially like my boys,” she said.

When it comes to advising parents with autistic children, Stephanie Manus says patience is the key. “You can’t put them in a bubble. They have to be taught how to function. It can be challenging at times, but there are countless resources such as autismspeaks.org that can help,” she said.